I have always enjoyed self-portraits. like many people, I struggle with the image of myself I hold in my brain. I’ve always enjoyed getting that struggle out onto paper.
it’s been different lately, though. the world is experiencing a kind of collective trauma that is new for many. but all too familiar to me. for the past five years, I’ve had no disposable income. I’ve been forced outside the box of capitalism, unable to participate in the luxury of modern society. I won’t go into detail because I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but because of this, I’ve spent a lot of time inside.
don’t think I mean to say I understand long term isolation; I still had a job, and if I wanted to satiate my wanderlust there was a store I could browse. even if I was broke, it was free to peruse ailes and daydream.
daydreams seem like such a privilege now. these days all of us want to GO and we have nowhere to. not only are we unable to peruse, we can’t find comfort in others like we as humans desire.
so through all of this, I’ve found my self-reflection hitting just a little different. it’s running deeper, more intrinsic and impossible to put to words right now. so today, I painted it instead.
this one started as a selfie, that I put through an AI to make it look like a classic painting, that I have now painted. an ouroboros of self-reflection.
it’s not done just yet, but I just had to share. I feel like what we are going through is just getting started. but I know that while we may be isolated, we aren’t alone.
thanks for reading. now wash your hands!